Off on a ski season this winter? You don’t need warm pants, extra scarves or photos of your dog. Trust me, I’ve seen enough emergency care packages get delivered to Cadbury’s-starved seasonnaires to know that if you’re off to work a winter you require:
What to pack for a ski season
1. As many rolls of duct tape as you can stuff into your luggage. Invaluable for no-longer-waterproof snow boots and fancy dress.
2. Triple the amount of socks you think you’d need. In fact, triple that number again. In short, lots of socks.
3. Antibiotics. You are going to get ill, and then instead of sleeping and looking after yourself you are going to drink, dance and snowboard.
4. Condoms. They are so expensive in ski resorts that they become a second currency.
5. A beer jacket. Lovely expensive ski jackets tend to get stolen when left in corners of clubs – bring a cheap padded number you could live without and use it in the evenings instead.
6. Your favourite hangover cure, and lots of it. Mine is baked beans, but Irn Bru is apparently also a winner.
7. Peanut butter. It’s the food of the gods and it also gives you an instant hit of energy.
8. A bag of decorations, posters and fairy lights to sort out your inevitably dodgy seventies accommodation.
9. A diary that you should force yourself to use, recording the incredible soap-opera dramas and ridiculously drunken escapades you are going to witness. Otherwise your memory of your season will become a huge blur of snowy days and sloshed nights.
10. Extra alarm clocks: because you will need at least three, dotted around the room out of reach from your bed, to be able to deal with having to get up at 4am after a night out to go and clean toilets.