We ran through wooded glades, we jogged across fields, we swam through bogs, and we got very, very, muddy. We mud-ice skated, we mud-slid, we fell down a LOT. You haven’t been really muddy in your life until you reach up to try and wipe it out of your eyes with hands so gunky that you simply end up with more of the brown stuff all over your face. My favourite bit was a stretch of muddy water so long and deep that you had to essentially swim to the other end, in a mass of laughing, unrecognizably grey people unable to get a grip with their feet or hands on anything at all. I also got hugged by a man in a monkey suit. When you finally make it over the finish line, you are rewarded with the Muddy Tub of Love (which I now want to recreate at home), a huge bath of hot water you can collapse into for a little rest. The whole thing is like Glastonbury for really fit people.
Mud Runner also organise Equinox (based in Scotland), Oblivion (a six mile obstacle course) and the terrifying Icebreaker (a winter duathlon that includes a 20k bike ride). Complete three and you get the awe-inspiring title of ‘Mud Master’ to add to your CV, plus a cool hoodie. Being a Mud Master is my new aim in life.